Wednesday, 23 September 2015

Anger?

Anger?


Although anger is a very natural human emotion and feeling; it can have negative effects on those who allow it to control them, and adverse effects on those who around them. Anger can destroy relationships, health, property, and livelihood. It is also very powerful and can vary in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury.  The latter can be destructive.  It can rage through a person, creating a desire for revenge and pushing a person to strike out at the object of his anger.  Because it is natural it is impossible for a person to avoid it completely.  It is however possible to understand anger and thus control it.

Because anger is often associated with ‘fight or flight responses’, it is often difficult to separate an action that is done in self-defense (or to protect properties or families) from one that is done out of uncontrolled rage.   It is ok to feel anger but it is not acceptable when a person allows it to overtake him and drive him to act in an unacceptable way, sometimes even leading to a very harsh action.

Uncontrolled anger is one of the tools of Satan and it can lead to many evils and tragedies. That is why once Prophet Muhammad called it a hot coal on the heart of a descendant of Adam.  There is no full proof way to completely eliminate anger because it is a natural human emotion.
When I go through the lives of great personalities of the world I found they have given many technics how to control anger and how to channel it into acceptable actions. 

There are also distinct advantages to following the guidelines set out. Once a man came to Prophet Mohammad and said, “Messenger of God, teach me some words which I can live by.  Do not make them too much for me, in case I forget.”  He said, “Do not be angry”. He the Prophet also advised that performing ablution was an acceptable method of anger management.  He said, “Anger comes from Satan, Satan was created from fire, and fire is extinguished only with water; so when any of you is angry, he should perform ablution”. If any of you becomes angry and he is standing, let him sit down, so his anger will go away; if it does not go away, let him lie down.”

 Jesus was also the best psychologist and the best moral teacher. He understood anger and told how to deal with them. In the Sermon on the Mount he wen over his fundamental teaching on anger, contempt, and how to deal with interpersonal conflict. Jesus was saying that the emotion of anger is not a sinful but dangerous and to be careful! Be the first to say “I’m sorry” or to offer empathy and compassion. Of course, this is not fair, but do it anyway because God does it for you. You can “Forgive as the Lord forgave you” 

In the same way Lord Krishna explains getting angry is a four step process. While contemplating the objects of the senses, a person develops attachment for them, and from such attachment lust develops, and from lust anger arises.

 Let us follow the illustration below

1.    Our senses come In contact with a sense object. Sense object refers to anything that we see, hear, taste, touch or smell or even something that we think of in our minds.

2.    After the first point of contact we develop an attachment or liking for it.

3.    The obvious third step is to develop a desire (lust) to possess it or have it done our way.

4.     And finally when that does not occur, the emotion manifests as anger.

So it appears as though the problem first arises when the senses come in contact with their sense objects. Therefore, the easiest solution must be to just control our senses and nip it in the bud. Well, that’s easier said than done!
Thus anger is a normal, healthy emotion, but when chronic, explosive anger spirals out of control, it can have serious consequences for our relationships, our health, and our state of mind. 

 There are many techniques that can help us to be cool down and keep our anger in check. In such a situation focus on the physical sensations of anger, take some deep breaths, use your senses, stretch or massage areas of tension, slowly count to ten, and focus on the counting to let our rational mind catch up with our feelings.